Walk Away to Win: A Playbook to Combat Workplace Bullying by Megan Morfitt Carle;

Author:Megan Morfitt Carle;
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: McGraw Hill LLC Professional Division
Published: 2023-06-15T00:00:00+00:00

15

The About-Face Bully

“My staff meeting takes priority over everything else.”

Private/covert bullies are a special breed. Tough to put your finger on because their aggressiveness is nuanced, subtle, hidden in the shadows. The About-Face bullies want you to know they’re in power. And they stay in charge by keeping you guessing and off balance.

At a global apparel company, managers were expected to lead, coach, and inspire. There were actual manifestos and core competencies that clearly spelled this out, including reminders like “Cultivate the best in others,” and “Promote honest communication through inclusion,” and “Trust your teammates to manage themselves and their time well,” and “The workplace should be fun.”

For Oscar, coming to work used to be fun. And then it became scary. He was being bullied by a cross-quadrant bully who mostly settled into About-Face mode. Oscar decided to confront him, after yet another one of his public IYF floggings. The beatdown was on the heels of the bully reminding Oscar that the bully’s staff meetings had to take priority over everything else.

“Do you think I’m capable of doing this job successfully?” Oscar asked him.

The AF had one look; he wore it everywhere. It said any number of things: “I’m bored,” “I’m annoyed,” “I’m ecstatic,” “I’m about ready to crush you.” Greatest poker face ever.

“Yes. Oscar. I do think you’re capable. I’ve been told you’re the best GM in the company.” It was said in such a tone that it suggested the exact opposite of Oscar being the best anything.

“OK, that’s great to hear,” said Oscar. “I need you to let me do it then.”

“Do you not think I’m letting you do your job simply because I want things done in a certain way? How is that ‘not letting you do your job’?”

“This isn’t my first GM role,” Oscar said. “It’s my third—and I have my own way of working, managing my team, presenting. You seem to zero in on many decisions that are mine to make, and you’ve just told me that you think I’m perfectly capable. Instead of the results and strategic conversations, you seem ultra-focused on the format of presentations and the people I’ve chosen to send to meetings and on your staff meeting being placed above all else. You’re micromanaging in a way that is getting in the way of us putting our best foot forward for one of the biggest innovation launches for the company. At times, we need to divide and conquer to ensure we get everything done. I need you to trust that I know what I’m doing and that I know how to efficiently deploy my team.”

“There are things I want done a certain way,” the bully replied, “and my staff meeting takes priority over everything else. And that includes any and all travel. You will be there.”

“OK,” Oscar said—and saw himself out.

Breaking down the game film: Four tactics to respond to an About-Face bully

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